Strange and Beautiful
by DistinctVagueness
Summary: “Just like a Gryffindor. Nothing always goes your way, you know. Good doesn’t always prevail over evil and all that.” SSHG Oneshot.


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_**A/N: **I started this one-shot absolutely ages ago and only went back to it lately to write the last half of it. It was originally inspired by Aqualung's 'Strange and Beautiful', though it was a little less so inclined when I came back to the fic. The lyrics aren't included in this version, but some are included on Ashwinder. There has been no beta-ing here and I apologise for any unintentional errors. Usual disclaimer; I still don't own the rights to the Harry Potter series unfortunately. Maybe for Christmas?  
This is one for **franflutewitch **since I haven't been around in an age and you've always been one of my nicest reviewers and a friend. Thank you._

_A new fic will appear shortly, tentatively titled **'Walking With Shadows',** if you're interested. _

_- **DistinctVagueness **( Not actually as dead as her non-existant updating would imply).

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Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)**

_Rays of moonlight spread without restraint across the castle, catching almost everything it its rapt attention. She, sitting cross-legged on the window-ledge of the tower, caught the full impact of it. Bushy hair falling over her shoulders was no longer a dull brown. It caught the glints of light which danced playfully, not only over her hair, but also her unusually pale face, and the hands clasped in her lap._

_  
She sighed now, and he watched her chest rise and fall steadily as she gazed out at the dark horizon._

_  
Her brow creased; signifying heavy thoughts. Suddenly, she shook her head and a sardonic smile cut across her lips. She laughed, shortly and harshly, before slipping off the sill and landing lightly on her toes. It was a…strange thing, he mused. It had become almost an obsession to watch her now. During classes, as she ate her meals and here, in this tower. She came here every other night, he'd discovered, quite within her rights as Head Girl, of course, but not always to carry out her duties. She would sometimes stare out for at least an hour, her expression shifting as often as the moon changed. He wondered what she thought about, being so unusually quiet. Strange indeed._

_After one last glance through the window, she turned and headed towards the stairs. It was only then that he stepped out of the shadows of the stairwell._

"_Miss Granger," he acknowledged._

_The young woman gasped, taking a step back. "Professor! You scared me."_

"_Then I expect it is just as well I waited until you had left your seat at the window. The grass below may have been the last thing you saw. Please be aware of how dangerous that could have been, Miss Granger."_

_She nodded, looking repentant. "I will finish my corridor duties now," she said, meekly._

_He waved his hand, looking impatient. "Just get to your rooms. I will check the corridors before I return to my own."_

_Nodding again, she started towards the winding steps._

"_You look like you could use some extra sleep." He paused. "Heavy thoughts, Miss Granger."_

_With that softly put, he turned to the window himself. A whispered voice bade him a good evening before he heard her footsteps. They grew fainter and fainter, and now he was alone. _

---

Hermione watched silently from the thinly covered bed as Severus recast the wards, strengthening their protection.

"They are still trying to get in. Can you feel it?" he asked, in a quiet tone.

She could feel it. Like a million grabbing hands clutching at their walls of safety to pull them apart.

Hermione nodded. "Yes."

After a final effort, he hid his wand away in his sleeve once more and crossed to the other side of the room. He took a seat on the floor, his back pressed heavily against the wood-panelled wall.

"There will be another snowfall tonight. We can expect that to set them back a bit and give us some respite. Hopefully the Order will take that opportunity. In the meanwhile, we should get some rest. Try to sleep."

Hermione laughed, albeit shortly, and he looked up in annoyance. "What in Merlin's name do you find funny about this situation?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Professor, it's just the idea of being able to sleep. With _them_ outside? Tell me, Professor, will _you_ sleep easily knowing that they know what you did to them?"

His silence answered her.

The tense expression taking up residence in her eyes again, Hermione eased back on the bed, curling her knees up to her chest. Severus merely stared unwaveringly at the door, as if daring it to disobey his charmed orders.

It had been at least an hour before he chanced a look up at the bed on which his ex-student was sitting. Her head was resting on her knees and her eyes closed. He could tell she wasn't asleep. Her less than easy state of mind played across her face at times, though the magical pressure from outside had lessened.

Severus then noticed her shoulders. They were shaking. And her fingers…slowly turning a strange blue as she clasped them together. Feeling like an idiot for not noticing before, he rose from his place on the floor.

Hermione jumped in surprise as sudden warmth enveloped her shoulders. His dusky cloak swallowed her shoulders, carrying his body heat. She looked up at him, wordlessly.

"There's no sense in you freezing. I have more than enough clothes for myself. I would cast a Warming Charm, but I cannot risk any other magic interfering with the wards."

She nodded, still dumb, at his words. Gratefully, she pulled the cloak more tightly around her.

"Thank you."

"That's not necessary." Severus went to return to where he had been sitting.

"Don't," she called out. "There's no sense in you freezing either. No matter how much you're wearing…" (She noticed exactly how many layers the man had dressed in and considered taking back what she was going to say), "the floor must be like ice. Sit here."

He looked at her for a few moments and must have decided it was a moot point to argue, for he took her advice. The mattress sank a little as he took a seat.

Silence reigned again for a short while, before Hermione cleared her throat. "I wonder what everyone else is doing now."

"I suspect that they'll be trying to find a suitable way to dispose of the Death-Eaters outside of this house," he told her. "Unless this battle did not swing our way. If not…we're either in for a very short wait, or a very _long_ one."

The little voice inside his head immediately berated him for his comments. But the look upon her face spurred him on. "Just like a Gryffindor. Nothing always goes your way, you know. Good doesn't always prevail over evil and all that."

She glared at him. Severus smirked.

"I lost that naïveté a long time ago, thank you very much. Nothing illustrated that more than when Voldemort fell. He dragged the 'good' down with him."

"_Don't say his name,"_ Severus hissed. It was then that he saw the raw pain in her eyes and realised that the mention of the Dark Lord's name had not been spoken in order to antagonise him. Hermione Granger had experienced first-hand the illusion of fairy tales.

A month and a half previously, the battle they'd thought would be their last, took place. Plans were laid and the Order, and half of the Hogwarts student body, carried them out to the letter.

It had been uncharted territory as Charlie Weasley stumbled through the gates of the castle; his face streaked with dirt and ash, the limp and lifeless body of his youngest brother cradled in his arms.

Severus had seen her expression as she'd regarded the scene. An odd mix of unhappiness, terrible unhappiness, flooded across her face, but it was touched by something akin to acceptance. As if she'd been expecting this all along.

It was a different story when Hagrid had returned home. He was accompanied by the news of Voldemort's decease. There had hardly been a moment to celebrate before he tearfully and gently removed a still body from underneath his voluminous coat.

The-Boy-Who-Lived…hadn't.

Now there was an entirely different reaction. Breaking the stunned hush and quiet tears of the onlookers, came an almost inhuman scream. Hermione Granger burst through the people around her, violently shrugging off the restraining arms of Minerva McGonagall. She rushed forward and flung her arms around the lifeless reminder of the Wizarding world's apparent saviour.

"No, Harry…come on, Harry, wake up. I'm here." Frantic hands raked through his hair as she spoke desperately to his pallid face. "Oh God, Harry, please! Stop it. Stop it! STOP IT!"

A kind of numb horror and sympathy gripped her audience. McGonagall's mouth was hanging slightly open as she watched her usually sedate Head Girl grab her lifeless best friend by the shoulders, shaking him with all the strength she had.

"Don't you dare! You can't leave me. This isn't how it…Harry! Please, hear me…you can't…c-can't…" Her plaintive voice dissolved as sobs racked through her words. She stopped shaking his body, but did not remove her arms, as if he had become her anchor.

A gentle pair of hands made her release his corpse. Lupin stood behind her and held on tightly as she burrowed her face in his jumper. Awkwardly, he managed to guide her into the castle, his own eyes torn with sadness as he took a last glance at James's son.

Severus had found that he had become rooted to the ground, his feet unwilling to come unstuck. He could only watch.

And watch he did. The first few days passed in the usual way for the bereaved; she was surrounded by those giving comfort, those who were grieving too. But after that…Hermione Granger had entered the Great Hall for a midday meal, back straight and chin held up high. She gave tentative smiles to her friends and assured them that she was 'alright'.

He could not fathom how they would believe her. Had they never noticed that light in her eyes? That encouraging, hopeful light, that was so markedly absent now.

But still she carried on, even agreeing to continue to help the Order as the school year finished. It had been believed the important task of rounding up the remaining Death Eaters would be good for her. With Severus's company, of course.

---

Exhaling slightly, Severus spoke gruffly. "I apologise. That was unnecessary."

His heart skipped a beat when the girl smiled, which he hadn't expected. It was a foreign expression in this situation. "The great Severus Snape, apologising? I feel honoured."

Severus was about to react in his usual, prickly way, but he realised there was no mocking tone in her voice. He chose not to reply.

Hermione shrugged further into the cloak, shivering. As she did so, she could smell the fragrance that was uniquely him. It was strange. Amongst the distinct odours of various potion ingredients, something sweet reached her nose too. Something recognisable. She frowned and chanced a glance up at him.

He was staring neutrally at the other wall, his shoulders and back stiff. Hermione stared sympathetically at him. How cruel this was for him. When Voldemort had fallen, it was to signify the end of his servitude. But one of his masters, Albus Dumbledore, had fallen by his own hands, and when the other was destroyed and he had revealed himself to be on the side of good, he was immediately pulled into questioning. The new Ministry was ever vigilant and Severus Snape, former Death Eater was a stain on the foundation they hoped to create. Those who remained in the Order rose up, furious, including Hermione Granger, testifying in his favour and highlighting every good thing they could.

Snape was eventually acquitted of the charges and allowed to return to Hogwarts, under six months probation.

The rebuilding of a stronger and more secure Wizarding World seemed to be a bright spot on the horizon for all who were left after the war. However, it was only the calm before the storm. Taking advantage of the society's fragile state, there was an uprising of the remaining Death Eaters. The very ones who had witnessed Severus's betrayal to their master and fled in fear as he fell at the almost lifeless hands of Harry Potter. Hermione Granger was a very close second in their seeking of revenge; she had been instrumental in helping Harry to overcome the Dark Lord. Minerva McGonagall had ordered her Potions Master and favourite student to hide elsewhere until it was over with. The Order would deal with the skirmish at Hogwarts until the ordeal was over. She had no wish for Severus to participate in more of this madness, and Miss Granger, no matter what kind of front she put on, needed a barrier between herself and that which had taken her best friends away from her.

When they discovered they had been followed, Severus had wasted no time in warding the small room at the bottom of the old Muggle house they had taken refuge in. He planned to protect the Gryffindor, before going outside to face those who sought him. Hiding in a cellar wasn't his style.

---

_He concentrated and turned one of the only objects in the room, a large wooden crate, into a bed with a threadbare mattress. An old lamp, powered by Muggle electricity, was the only light in the room._

'_Get some sleep. There's no sense in being awake and afraid. I will release you from the wards when it's all over.'_

_Severus turned and went to pull down the trapdoor. Small hands grasped his arm, restraining him from doing so._

'_You mustn't!' Granger stared at him and he was uncomfortably aware of her chocolate eyes boring into him. 'Don't you dare leave me.'_

_He tried shaking her off. 'Miss Granger, it is highly disrespectful for you to address a teacher in that manner. Do desist.'_

_She took a sharp intake of breath. 'You idiot, do you really think that matters now?' She was glaring at him now. 'Frankly, I find it highly irritating that you continue to talk to me as if I was twelve years old. This is in no way the worst situation I've been in before. I'm telling you to stay because it is foolish to go out there. Why offer yourself up for slaughter if you can wait for help to come?'_

'_Help does not always come, Miss Granger. Surely you should know that by now. And this situation hardly offers the best company.'_

_She dropped her hands then. Gone was the fierce expression. Severus's heart tugged guiltily, knowing he'd phrased that entirely wrong._

'_I see,' she said quietly. 'You'd rather chance death than have to be near me.'_

'_Miss Granger-' More like I'd chance death if it meant I could be near you, he thought, before silencing the voice in his head. _

'_Professor,' Hermione broke in. She was studying her hands. 'Be that as it may…please don't go.'_

_Severus stood in silence for longer than a minute without reply and she did not make a further sound. Eventually, he let out an exaggerated sigh and lifted his wand. Hermione looked pained, believing him to be leaving. Instead, he began to chant the words for a ward she wasn't familiar with, but could identify as such by his graceful wand movements. She smiled in relief as she watched him, in admiration of the smooth and never rough way that he would cast his spells .It was quite intoxicating at times, she thought, as the silkily spoken words washed over her and for a short while, abated her fears. She hid the smile when he glanced at her momentarily. Little did he know he'd cast a spell so easily over the young woman behind him. _

_---_

Would the man ever just be able to get on with his life and leave the unpleasantness behind?

Severus began to grow edgy at the feeling of a pair of eyes boring into him. He turned rapidly.

'What?' he snapped. Hermione recoiled.

'Sorry. I was just thinking.'

'Would you be kind enough to regale me with those thoughts? I'm sure they were thrilling,' he remarked sarcastically.

'I was wondering, if, before the battle with Voldemort, you made a list, sir.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'A list, Miss Granger?'

She nodded. 'You know, a list of things you should do in case you die. Things you've always wanted to do.'

He snorted. 'I see no point in such an activity. Why pursue what I want, and do not deserve, when I have failed so spectacularly before?' His voice was laced with bitterness. 'It would be better to die without such thoughts upon my mind.'

Hermione felt a twinge in her chest. What was it he thought he did not deserve?

'Don't tell me you made such a list? How ridiculous. I thought you were a Gryffindor with a brain made out of something other than sentimentality, but apparently not.'

Again, she did not object, but smiled again. He wished she'd stop doing that so incessantly, especially where they were right now. It was unnerving and for once in his life, he did not know how to respond.

Then she nodded. 'Yes, I did.'

'And..?' he replied, trying to sound bored.

'And…,' she answered. 'It was very…revealing.'

He rolled his eyes. 'Do get to the point. What does that have to do with me?'

'Well, everything, Professor,' she started slowly. 'Some of my most prominent wants had everything to do with you.'

Did his shadowed eyes widen slightly at that, or was she just imagining things? Hermione swallowed. If she was going to tell him, she had to do it now. Wasn't that one of the conditions of her list?

'Firstly…I wanted to know why you had started following me at nights. You only spoke to me once, but I knew you were always there.'

Jaw clenched, Professor Snape looked like his worst nightmare was coming true. 'Miss-'

'Secondly,' she broke in. She couldn't let him stop her now. She wanted to get to the end. Very much so. 'I wanted to admit to myself that I had started to miss you when you didn't follow me. I even deliberately took on extra patrols on the off chance you would be there.'

'Thirdly, I wanted to know why I couldn't accept Ron's touches or words anymore. Why suddenly, all I wanted was yours, and nobody else's.'

Staring very hard at the opposite wall, Hermione paused. 'And finally, I wanted, very much, to know what this would feel like, in case I died.'

Gathering her courage, she stood up and faced him. As he was sitting, their faces were almost level. Hermione felt some of her bravery draining away at the frozen expression on the man's face. He didn't look unhappy, or angry, but then again, he certainly didn't look overjoyed either.

She was about to hesitate, when a voice inside suddenly seemed to scream, 'Oh, to hell with it!'

She lowered her head and pressed her lips to his.

Severus was so stunned that he couldn't move nor respond.

Moments passed. Tears began to spring to Hermione's eyes as she felt no response. She ended the one-sided kiss and pulled away. 'I guess now I know what rejection feels like, 'she joked weakly, trying to ignore the immense, drowning disappointment that enveloped her.

The world took an almost frightening turn as, without warning, the dark man seemed to fly to his feet. The next thing she knew, her lips were feverishly covered by his own. Blind passion seemed to overtake them for a minute, before he began to press kisses from her lips, along the edge of her jaw and the untouched skin of her neck. One hand brushed past her breasts on the way from her waist to her hair.

'Professor...' she whispered, closing her eyes at his touch, her lips free to speak.

He stopped in his administrations and shook his head. 'Severus.'

He was taken aback yet again when she repeated his name in some sort of quiet awe. 'Severus,' she murmured. It was more of a caress than a word, and he gazed into her eyes, quickly concerned when she burst into sudden tears.

He pulled back, mortified. 'I apologise. That was inexcusable of me-'

She laid a finger on his lips and smiled through her tears. 'I'm crying because I'm happy, you fool.'

Relief flooded through him and he shook his head. 'I'm the fool, says the Gryffindor who cries when she's happy. I suppose you laugh when you're sad, don't you?'

She let out a noisy sob once again at the small smile he was able to offer her. Wanting nothing more than to hold her, he drew her back towards his body. Hermione buried her head in his chest and he stroked her hair until her shaking shoulders began to still and he felt her hands begin to creep around him, crawling upwards until she was closer to him than he could have imagined. She lifted her chin. The tears in her eyes had gone now; they were currently shimmering with what seemed to be longing. Severus resisted the urge to shiver. He couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at him that way, if ever. Especially someone as striking as she was. He knew in other eyes she was just plain, maybe a little pretty, but that was all. But they were idiots. He couldn't imagine anyone else with eyes deeper than hers. Hair as soft and sweet-smelling as hers. A mind as skilled and brilliant as hers.

Oh, she had always been a strange child, with knowledge and maturity beyond her years, that was for certain. He just wasn't sure whether it was that which he loved, or whether it was the qualities he saw in her, that he also saw in himself.

She tilted her head upwards, signifying what she wanted. Severus obliged by lowering his own, to kiss her lips. It was gentle at first, but both grew more insistent as the seconds passed, both fighting for dominance. Hermione was surprised at her own strength when she pressed herself even closer and somehow manage to push him backwards. He landed on the bed, in a sitting position again and couldn't help but laugh at the startled and unsure expression on the young woman's voice. He raised an eyebrow.

'Now, Miss Granger...how unlike you to not finish something you started. Perhaps I should…intervene?'

Her heart was pounding in her ears and she let out a little cry of surprise as his hands hooked around her waist. He lay back, bringing her down on top of him. The whispered 'Hermione' in her ear all but undid her and she raked his hands through his hair, before raining kisses across his forehead, along his cheeks and then his lips, gasping as a cool hand found its way under her shirt. She had never felt so bold, yet so comfortable in her entire life.

Thoroughly absorbed in their activities, neither heard rushed footsteps and shouts from above.

The trap door in the ceiling was suddenly thrown open with an almighty crash, and there were shouts for 'Professor Snape' and 'Miss Granger'.

The two lying on the bed froze, thinking the worst until they heard the familiar voices calling for them. Then they realised it might be preferable to face Death Eaters than the reactions of those staring down at them, glancing worriedly at each other. Hermione rolled away from him and got to her feet. Severus followed in suit. Hermione's face was flushed, whilst his was ashen as the list of things he was accused of only grew longer in his mind

There was an embarrassed cough. Remus Lupin cleared his throat, knowing all too well what they'd just interrupted had been a long time coming. 'Well, er, yes…that is…glad to see you safe…the, er, danger's over now…so you can carry on, I suppose…'

Minerva McGonagall looked scandalised at his response before shaking her head and muttering, 'Oh, if Albus were here to see this…' She walked way from the opening, pulling some of the other Order members with her.

'Blimey Hermione, how long have you been shagging Snape?' asked Fred Weasley, looking pale.

Hermione coloured. 'I have not been…' Unexpectedly, she smirked. 'That's none of your business.'

Ginny Weasley grinned at Hermione's response and led her gaping brother away, before winking at her friend. She had been the only one the older girl had trusted with her secret. The embarrassment she wore now, only served to hide the happiness underneath. She noticed that her friend's eyes held a certain brightness to them again. Perhaps Hermione had found what she needed to keep her going now that Ron and Harry were gone.

Remus was the last to go. He looked exhausted and his hair was unkempt, but he still managed to smirk.

'What was it you were saying the other day, Snape? Something about the subtlety and discretion of Slytherins, wasn't it?'

Severus growled. 'Go back to your hole, Lupin.'

The werewolf laughed genuinely. 'Go easy on him, Hermione. Snakes are more fragile than they seem.' Still smiling, he walked away from the opening and left them alone.

In the quietness, Hermione watched him. He had stiffened up again. But then he spoke.

'Hermione-'

_Please don't say it, _she willed desperately. _I don't want to leave you now. Even if they saw us, it doesn't matter to me._

'I-'

'Don't say it! I don't care! I'm eighteen and I'm perfectly capable of my own choices. Anyone who doesn't like it can go to hell for all I care. I need you and I won't let you leave me! Severus, ple-'

A strong hand covered her moving lips and silenced her. 'Hush.'

She regarded him silently with a troubled expression.

He offered her a smile. 'Hermione…I don't believe there will be much school to miss in the next week. Your exams are finished and it'll take a while to sort things out. I have a small home, in the north, that I keep. Would it be too much to ask you to accompany me there?'

Doubt overtook him as she didn't immediately answer.

'Of course, if you're not inter-'

She quickly turned. A lovely, hopeful smile graced her features. 'When can we leave?'

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End file.
